Because of You

Because of you…

  • I like cats
  • I have become more than I was before you
  • my mornings have been easy
  • my life has been 100% wonderful
  • I have dedicated many posts here and on Facebook about your days with me
  • I smiled and laughed more often and most of it was around you

And just look at how cute you are:

From wanting to be close to me, looking at me.

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I became a mother: a mother who loved you every second that you were mine, a mother who made a song in your name:

A mother who soothed you, a mother that gave you 14 months of love, so much love that …as I said to you once…that you’d have too much love that you’d get sick of me. Well, looks like you wanted that much love! A mother who socialized you with another cat who became your BFF, a mother that let you in the backyard. You were happy sitting around flowers while I sat a distance away watching you watching a cat approach you. I laughed every time you hissed at another cat.

Just one more…a video of Ashley next to me….she is so cute!


Because of you, I have many positive and loving memories of a cat that followed me in its cage, rubbing the cage. I knew then that you liked me. And despite other people’s difficulty with you, you were not difficult for me. Everything was easy because I loved you.

14 months of love that we gave each other. Your last days (the 14 months) have been loved.



Remembering Loved Ones


This day – October 30 was the last day of her life. She went from having lymphoma of the small intestines to loss of appetite–despite meds to stimulate appetite and meds for nausea–she didn’t eat and she was at stage 1 of liver disease. She’s jaundiced and it’s noticeable with the change in the colour of the inner ear where it’s usually a lavender colour.

It was okay for me to give her meds for the cancer and spend approximately $350 every three months for blood work and Chlorambucil (cancer med).

She means a lot to me. At Room T, I think it was, at the Toronto Humane Society she saw me, followed me as much as she was able to in the cage. Following me as much as she could. I chose her. I wanted her to have the most happiest and the most loved life until the end of her days. I know I did that–and not because of paying for the cancer meds. It’s the everyday stuff I’m talking about. Giving her kisses, speaking to her gently, playing with her, enriching her life by socializing her with other pets in the apartment (more on this later).

Angel and Ashley BFFs

She’s a Russian Blue. Looking it up I understand why she’s very sensitive. Many people don’t understand her, my roommates say that she’s doing nothing for them and to that I responded, “She’s not here for you, she’s here for herself.” My goodness, some people just have no compassion for a sick and senior cat! Shame! Shame! Shame!

Many moments where she’s curled up next to me as I play Pet Rescue Saga. I will post this pic soon! There was a moment where as we’re both sleeping on my bed (really her bed! LOL!) my hand and one of her legs touched during the nap. Awe-some (not a misspelling) moment that I couldn’t take a pic of–I don’t even have a video in my room for 24/7 taping of moments I’d miss when I’m in my old age and memory is gone. Darn it!

I come home after being out for hours and Ashley waits for me in the kitchen, near the storage area. She looked sad. A roommate told me that she had been coming into the kitchen whenever someone opened the door. Not the first time Ashley misses me.

I miss her a lot when I’m not home. My mornings are better. Because of her I’m happier in the mornings. Because of her coming home is a happy thing because she’s there.

Mohammed gave me one advice that I think would work for anyone wanting to have a pet cat. He said that I’ll know if a cat likes me when he or she come to me. Of course, it helps to have compassion for animals. It also helps to be a responsible human. Having a pet is expensive–especially a sick pet. I don’t care about the money I spent (not wasted!) because she gave me more, many more just her personality.

She does hiss a lot but she’s being territorial and she’s also letting other pets and people know that she wants to be left alone. That’s a reasonable request, I think!

I get it now…about euthanasia for pets. I wouldn’t do it when she was diagnosed with Lymphoma of the small intestines but now her health has gotten worse: cancer, her body eating the fat, liver problems (stage 1). She doesn’t need to suffer anymore. I’ll miss her for a long time. But I guess many years will pass before she’s in my memory and whatever my mind chooses to remember about her.

Being there during the last 30 seconds was awful but I wanted to give her more kisses and I didn’t want her to be alone. Cats are okay to be alone but she’s my baby and on Day 1 I told her that I’m her mother.


Cats Fight, Cats Wrestling?

This is a new level of cat fighting for these two: Angel and Ashley.

Mornings are entertaining in my home with these two playing–and I’m so not a morning person. These two changed that for me.

No regrets leaving my birth family, permanently. I wouldn’t have happy mornings, ever! And probably later sometime even if I don’t have these pets five years from now, getting used to being happy in the mornings (that’s what these pets are doing for me) until then will have conditioned me to be happy in the mornings. Memories…

Pets Teach Humans

Ashley has Lymphoma of the small intestines. I am in the TV Room and maybe 10 minutes later she enters, lying there as if she is fine.

What is she teaching me? I think she wants me to smile, laugh, play with her, give her all the lovey doveys I can (she likes and doesn’t like).

I don’t do well when humans and animals around me are sick, long-term. I am trying to be less stressed about it and play with her like there is no tomorrow.

Mama loves you Ashley! I’ve been saying these words and showering her with kisses since I adopted her from the Toronto Human Society in August 2015. No guilt over not providing her with emotional support and a quality of life that would have spiraled downward if I hadn’t rescued her.

Teaching Me Something


So I had a shitty situation where a male roommate assaulted me:

physical assault by a male roommate


Two weeks after the incident I am in a better place – literally. The four women are so great! They don’t expect me to give my share of the money towards purchasing house supplies (e.g. dish soap, sugar). They were happy to foot the bill. They understand that the first month in a new place is financially stressful.

The other place – jerks! So totally not understanding. They only understand their own burdens.

The roommates I have now…well…guess what? I pitched in my share since the first month! Because they understand.

I’ve been living here now for two months. They are true to who they say they are. And they’re a great bunch.

Couldn’t help talking about this bit. I didn’t get their permission to post pictures of them (I do have). However, this Blog is about all my experiences since leaving the birth family.

Pets – and for me it would be dogs and cats – are therapeutic.

I had a dog from 1997 to 2005. Gave it up because the guy I knew at the time was “allergic” to pets. I didn’t marry him anyway. Here is the dog I had:

Cutie Pie and me. June 2000
Cutie Pie and me.
June 2000

Stupid decision to give her up because of him. Some lessons take longer to “get”. For me I trip myself up in romantic relationships. The other reason was because she was getting sick and the money I made each month went to the vet bills. The cost for each problem Cutie Pie had costed me close to $1000 (Canadian $).

Anyway, I have the choice to foster a cat or dog. That will be the route I go since I’m not in a better financial situation than ever before.

The mother cat: Mowmow

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And here are her children:

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I would love to own one but until I do some research on the cost of owning one and the illnesses they possibly could get, I’m hesitating to say no.

Yes, my experience with giving up my dog (my child) has everything to do with it.

When I’m ready for one, that’s when I’ll have one. And no worries about affording anything he or she needs.

Responsible pet ownership.



I definitely feel rejuvenated: my lungs clear, my skin getting rid of “garbage” via perspiration and within two days I see that my legs are looking toned. It has been perhaps 2-3 months since I have worked out at a local YMCA and it’s great knowing that I can pick up where I left off within the first week of reintroducing physical fitness in my schedule.

Joy, Fitness, & Style

Cannon Beach Headstand

Rejuvenate:  To feel healthy and energetic or to give new strength or energy to something.

Seaside Beach

Oh man – I can’t tell you how perfect the weather was down at Cannon Beach and Seaside, Oregon this past week.  It was overcast in the mornings (but not freezing), then the weather was gorgeous!  You could actually wear a swimsuit without freezing to death – low 70’s.  It was awesome.

There’s still a few more weeks of summer, so I hope you are able to get in some rejuvenation yourself.  🙂

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