Mother Talks: #1

My mother never talked to me in this way. Her communication style was more the nagging style and having grandchildren. I’m not surprised that nagging caused me a lot of tension and anxiety growing up with my birth family.

It’s nice to have a parent who nurtures you – and in a positive way. Yeah, sure (grinning) nagging is negative nurturing.

I’m still young, my brain in pretty good shape. I am learning to be my own parent and best friend. Some parts of parenting myself is difficult: like with positive feedback when I make a mistake. But this takes time to overwrite the negative in my head from 4 decades of negative talk from others.

Nine Cent Girl

Although a fabulous pretender my mother was not a fly by nighter: she was a planner. In August we planned our Christmas gathering, at Christmas we planned our summer reunion. While I begin the task of emptying her scarf drawer, winter closet and filing cabinet, I see that some of her plans weren’t as rock solid as I once thought to be, but compared to who I was at say 15 or even 26, I can state for certain she got me to look forward and plot out a life worth looking back on. My mother usually began our random solitary talks quick to the chase by asking, “What’s your five year plan?” On first hearing, her question was as alien to me as reading Mandarin, maybe even more so.

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One thought on “Mother Talks: #1

  1. Thank you so much for reblogging my post. We all have much to learn about mothers, mothering, and just living. My mom lived through tough years herself, but in the end looked to love. I hope to follow her legacy by believing we have a choice how we face each day. May yours be filled with light and hope! xxoo

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