I am Gemini

My Name

I don’t give credence to the personality profiles claimed in horoscopes. And I don’t read it to let another have power over who I am today and who I am meant to be. I hope no one out there swears by it. And, I hope, no one reads it to guide their daily actions! I read it to pass the time.

I am Gemini and rarely like in today’s local newspaper is right on about one aspect of my personality: calling it as I see it.

Mom was all about telling the truth–except in cases where another’s feelings could be hurt. I learned to value truth-telling and however painfully to even be blunt. Okay, so I am not a popular person because of this but at least people will respect you for being honest, right? Bottom line is I wouldn’t like me if I made it a habit to be dishonest–even telling white lies. But now, I needed to shift my nature to make a meeting much less painful.

In my last visit to mom on New Year’s Eve 2014, she didn’t understand why she was at the long-term care home (The Home). I said nothing about it though knew many details about the reasons for her being there because of the things she told me in the second visit. In previous visits she verbalized how upset she was with me and the sibling for putting her in The Home.

She was weaker during the last visit. Saying the word “tebe” (meaning “you” in Croatian) she’d say it like this: t-t-t-t-tebe. Definitely is a marker of her deteriorating physical health and possibly mental health. Her brother had Alzheimer’s Disease. She’s been diagnosed with Dementia–only Dementia. She could be having AD as I’m writing this now and I gave up my  Power of Attorney for my freedom to live my life and move in a positive direction.

Anyway, here is the small lie I told mother to spare her some pain. I don’t feel guilty about the lie and usually I would even with good intentions behind the lie.

I suppose this could be another way I have changed since leaving Hell/The WarZone on January 31, 2013. Wow, it’s been two years since I left home and no regrets, no wishing I was living with my birth family forever.

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