Perhaps the ex and I are thankful that we’re still walking this planet! Saying the title of a recent movie I watched: “This is Where I Leave You” he wasn’t smiling and then I thought about the meaning behind these words. I don’t like these words. There is only sadness there.
All relationships are temporary – even parent and child. I thought I’d get to keep mom until I was 80 and she 120. Not so! I prayed to God that she’d be healthy and that she and I die at the same time. She was the only person on this planet who loved me – so I don’t think it was too much to ask. But thing is I needed to leave, to live the life and to be happy. When mom got sick from Dementia it was too stressful for me to deal with it. I did my best but the best for her is where she is now. Thanks, mom, for giving me the support that you had been giving me up until your illness. You gave me everything that you had and now you know that my life is a happier one and that my relationships are satisfying, you don’t have to worry me anymore – like you worried on January 31, 2013. I got what I wanted (finally and Thank God!) i.e. living independently, doing what I want whenever. I am not angry or frustrated with life for decades.
Thank God that even though there are days I need to chill out, I’m still able to do everything I need to: advocate for me, connect with others, join social and recreation activities. I’m more social now than I was when living with my birth family.
That doesn’t mean I’m living in heaven every day now. Roommates have been a challenge – never mind they are challenged by things going on in their lives. The accusations (without proof) and the aggression. I’ll never forget what they did and now I’m not stressing over them. They’re still the same as I’ve known them the first six months of living with them. The difference is my self-confidence. I know what to do. I know them.
I thank God more often than once a year – this is me sharing my thanks to the world.
Relationships are temporary but I’m hoping my relationship to God is a permanent one. I’m doing everything I can to be the Christian he wants me to be.