DOA – Potential Future Mates

Figuring Things Out

The previous post I talked about how excited we get at the start of a new romantic relationship. It’s all hormones. We’re sure it’s not about hormones. That we’ve found The One. However, the more time you spend together, the closer you are to finding the reality of the direction of the relationship.

In my case it’s: DOA – dead on arrival.

Why is that? He moved too fast, I used to move too fast. Now I’m just happy to date but I’m always on the look out for the red flags.

Asking questions about his/her past relationships is an excellent idea and if you don’t see it on paper, don’t have sex with him/her!

If he’s got the problem of double standard, it’s time to leave!

Keep to your boundaries. Whatever you have learned from the previous relationship, keep to it in the next ones! It won’t be perfect the next time but don’t beat yourself up! If being friends with a guy is what you need to find out about his potential as a future mate, do it!

I have learned from the breakup of March 2014 and how wonderful it is that there is something else to think about for the next time.

That’s if I want a next time…

I’m the happiest when I’m flying solo. It’s a lot of stress to start a new relationship. And it’s because you’re learning things about each other.

How wonderful would it be if I meet The One the first time?

I’m not that lucky, but that’s alright because I need to take care of all my needs. That leaves a few hours each day to relax, to do more things for myself.

What I don’t have time for when I start a new relationship:

  • learning
  • time for exercise
  • creating something in visual arts
  • time spent in my community

Sure it was my decision to spend those hours with the guy because I thought I was okay with it and so now it took less than one month to find out the truth about our compatibility.

I wouldn’t have known if I didn’ t find documents about the women he knew in the past.

I found the information the day I helped him clean his room.

Otherwise, it’s too bad. He was a really nice and a gentle man. Still…I have to think about my safety and what makes me the most happiest.



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