I hardly use clichés because using them means, to me, that I have nothing to say. And what is “time heals all wounds” anyway? Does it mean I’ll get over the hurt just because time passed? I don’t think so – unless I do something to heal myself from the pain. Looking for the external environment to get me to feel better. It might…for a short time.
I want to be happy in all my relationships and I believe that for myself I won’t be happy until I’m honest with myself and stay firm to all my beliefs about the relationship between girlfriend and boyfriend, husband and wife. I do need time to think things through, to go back from the start to the end of the relationship and see where I might have done things differently.
And when I say to myself “I understand now and next time I’ll know better” I am hoping that the next relationship progresses slowly to know how far I’d like to take the relationship.
I’m writing this now and feeling extremely uncomfortably with the thought of having a boyfriend – even if he’s a sweetheart. I need a lot of time alone, still. I am not ready for more. So, if there is a guy out there interested in becoming my boyfriend now, I’ll have to say that I can’t give him as much as he wants and if he’s persistent to getting what he wants I am so going to have to walk the other way. No looking back. No regrets over feelings of anxiety taking me over and ruining a chance at happiness.
I don’t think I”m a cynic because all mating relationships eventually end. The few that don’t, I think there is infidelity and a lot of pain in keeping things together.
Nope, I’m in no rush to date.
To everyone grieving over the end of a relationship I hope you take time for self-care, do things that make you happy (hopefully that’s not suicide!), think about why things came to an end with no way of ever repairing the relationship. It takes however long it does (for anyone) to get over the breakup. Thank goodness I was able to see my part in why the relationship came to an end – and this was the one thing I have not been able to see while living at Hell/War Zone. It has been four months since the break up and I can say that I’m at peace with the breakup and that seeing my ex-boyfriend doesn’t put me on the defensive and offensive. I wish him excellent health and happiness until he is 100 years old. Two songs from Destiny’s Child come to mind to sing for thankfulness, peace and well wishing to the men I have dated in the past:
- “Gospel Medley”
- “The Story of Beauty”
I am in no hurry to get into another relationships. Friendship first – not just for a month. For however long it takes to know if the potential guy and I are compatible for more than friendship. There is a song (can you believe it!) that speaks to everything that’s in my heart that I’d like to say to whoever the future guy is. It’s a song from Brandy: “No Such Thing As Too Late”.