Awkward Moments…Chance Meeting the Ex

It has been a wonderful two weeks for me since the break up and being the goal-oriented person that I am, I spent my free time doing science and math homework. How dedicated am I when I’m on a schedule to get things done at a certain time frame? If you’re from Ontario you know the curriculum. I’m doing this course through distance learning. That’s not all, though. I planned to hand my homework Monday before 1 p.m. so I was up until 2:30 a.m. and finished!

How’s that motivation? I love distance learning. There is at least three hours spare that I will use the Internet for homework.I have caught up with the things I haven’t been able to do while in a 3-month old relationship and I’ll be celebrating my hard work by watching a movie. I have earned it. I collected the points for one free movie! Woohoo!

After dropping my homework to the distance learning institution, I went to the social club and saw the ex at one of the computers. I thought he’d be away for two months – like he said the day of the break up. One of the staff said hi to me and I was so sure that he was going to look. He didn’t, thank God! I so planned to ignore him as if he’s not there. With some exes you know that’s the safest thing for you – when you know the things that you do know about him and the new things I knew on the day of the break up..well let’s just say I escaped from him just in time.

I have said in a previous post that it seems that most guys are control freaks and domineering, right? He’s that but somehow in a much more dangerous (for me) way because I don’t have the muscles and self-defence moves to fight back if I have to.

The awkward moment was when I re-entered the room with a bowl of seafood. He looked at me, the friends surrounding him fell silent, and I walked passed like he wasn’t there.

I started having thoughts about the ex – nice ones and at home I starting doing research about it. The article is titled:

Do you miss them or the idea of them?

I was c0nfused about my feelings, memories of him. It’s a relief knowing that it’s not him that I am missing and I hope he never approaches me to even say “Hello!”. He texted me once just to ask how I’m doing and that he’s doing fine. The week before that he gave me a “gift” of extra moves in an online game.

I guess no one can help missing their ex and hopefully in time the pain goes away and we move on forward in a positive way, learning from our mistakes and why the current relationship didn’t work.

I like sharing information – especially when it’s about relationships.

Lately I have been posting more about the breakup for three reasons:

  • sharing information with others who have gone through the same thing (everyone!)
  • relationships are part of my self-development – new information gives me insight

It’s really not all that bad when I know that my mind and body are in sync. If they weren’t, I’d not be aware that I’m eating more than I used to – and this used to be me when I was living in the War Zone/Hell,  I’m definitely not looking for a man so that I can easily get over the current guy. I’d rather process everything until I”m 110% okay with it all. Definitely not stalking him. I spend my time doing things just for me. And I’m not telling my story to everyone (aka Internet). If I was telling it you’d get the juicy details. I have only skimmed the surface and I haven’t said anything that distinguishes him for all other guys. I’m not holding on to the memorabilia. I have only kept his Christmas present. I don’t do revenge. I don’t have enough rage for it. I’m angry yes and I have told him verbally on the day of the breakup everything I ever wanted to tell him. So, I walked away from the relationship without regrets, nothing left unsaid.

The big thing is that I haven’t settled for crumbs. I have given him a chance to show me that all he said about himself was true and the chance to be a caring and loving boyfriend. When I left Hell/War Zone, I had standards for myself in all aspects of my life.

Which is why I’m never looking back. Which is why this relationship ended. It’s a give and take. All relationships are. If it’s not like this, then you’re with someone who is selfish all the way. Time to let go. If they want to be friends, refuse it because being a boyfriend or girlfriend means being a friend – and then some more.

And if you’re still having trouble getting over your ex, and perhaps feeling sorry for yourself because it seems like it only happens to you, the third link is about it – and being goal-oriented I so don’t want to feel sorry for myself especially when self-pity means I’m helpless and don’t have any confidence in helping myself out of this situation. Obviously, the solution isn’t reuniting with the ex, it’s the next journey of my life.

Maybe one day I will meet The One and in the mean time I am working towards higher education for a career in science (astronomy and/or physics) going to mass, reading the Bible for advice on living my life now. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes is a good place to start to have more wisdom in my life.

 

 

 

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