Dysfunctional Families That is The War Zone/The Hell

I have grown up in a culture (social and religious) where there still no equality between men and women.

A family isn’t just dysfunctional when they’re teaching that daughters’ role is caregiver of others and the sons are the handyman. Dysfunctional families exist where there are long-term health issues, where there is violence and aggression and where there is generally a lot of negativity. And the children become the adults that their parents are. Unless the child’s eyes are open and understand that their parents’ behaviours are negative, there is no hope that our world could be a better place.

It’s a better place when there are positive relationships between people: in romantic relationships, with siblings, within the family and relatives, within the community and the church. Or wherever it is  (and that I have not mentioned) that your social environment is. Not all “old values” are values worthy holding. When it causes pain and suffering in this world, it’s time to change it.

Starting with the men. They still desire to be the king of their homes but if you want to be “king” where is wisdom in your words and in the things you do?

In my book, there will only be one king: God.

Everyone else is brother and sister to each other. Religious or not, men and women of this earth are equal to each other.

Anyways, I hope there are other children out there who like me – raised in a dysfunctional family, eventually leaving it knowing there is a better life out there where you will learn that men and women are equal.

Parents are responsible for their children’s attitudes towards life, but the child has the ability to think independently–and I believe this because it’s true about me–and know the difference between right and wrong.

I knew my parents’ behaviours were wrong when they didn’t help me through the one critical event that changed my outlook on life forever. I was angry each day for several decades while living at home and having a father with a mental and physical problem and a mother that is passive doesn’t help. It didn’t help that the agency wouldn’t provide shelter for me if the family wasn’t okay with it. That was the 80s. Things are different now, I think.

Now that I am not seeing family and relatives, I feel at peace and doing things and holding to the beliefs and values that the independent-thinker that I was since age five. If conservative means going along with anything that’s dysfunctional – things I’ve talked about here, I’m never being that. I don’t have a “category”, but I hope that I’m becoming enlightened as a person.

If you’re willing to learn from the past, open your eyes to it and understand, then take action for a better life for yourself that isn’t dysfunctional, my hat’s off to you!

I would like to see more people getting out of their dysfunctional bunk and go forward in their life – learning, taking care of your needs, getting wisdom – just a few things on the top of my head which are valuable to me.

In my journey through life after leaving Hell/The War Zone, I may get to know guys and girls who are dysfunctional well you know how that’s going to go. No relationship will develop there. Not even a friendship.

To the people I will meet at the program…see you soon!

An example of dysfunctional relationships:

Woman does everything in the "relationship".
Woman does everything in the “relationship”.

 

An example of a functional relationship:

Couples doing house chores together.
Couples doing house chores together.

There is more…and I think I’m done talking about this topic – unless of course someone in the program inspires me to talk about it more.

I’m doing fine these days. I’m writing on this blog – and it’s an expression of my POV. Sure, I don’t like what I see out there and well if you don’t like me posting the kinds of things I’m posting lately, change your attitudes! We’re all adults here, you have your POV and I have mine and just maybe the things I’m saying here are hard truths to swallow. And it’s hard for an adult child to walk away from all the wrong ways they’ve been taught by their parents, right? If you want to you will and it does take time to destroy the “old tape” and put in “new tape” with only positive experiences.

Who likes the truth? Who wants to listen to it?

Here are some websites that, for those who are in the same journal as I, are useful:

What is Required to Build the Skills Parents Need to Raise Healthy Children

Cultural Differences in Parenting Styles…(long title)

How Adolescents Can Grow Their Parents Up

Are Parents Morally Responsible For Their Children?

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