When I was living with my family, an environment I will always refer to as hell, I came across an article from the oprah.com website titled “Ask Deepak: How to Find Direction in Your Life”.
The questions asked:
- Am I depressed and sick of my life?
- Am I drifting because I know something perfect is waiting just over the horizon?
- Is today going the way I want it to?
- When I look around, does my life tell me who I am? What do I see in the reflection of the outer world?
- If I could jump ahead five years and meet myself, who would I meet?
My answers: Yes, Yes, No, No – others just want to keep away from me, and the final question: a vagrant.
I’m on my own now, keeping away from the volatile sibling and not visiting my elderly mother–except for two trips during the first week of her stay at a long-term care home.
My answers to these five questions are: No, N/A, Yes, someone who has changed phenomenally, and Someone who is happy, safe, productive and curious, fun, kind and supportive.
The changes have taken a 180° turn and perhaps as time goes on and I keep myself open to other positive experiences.
Some may think I’m homeless because I don’t have permanent housing, but even this will change soon.
Homelessness isn’t the downward spiral of my life.